So, instead of repeating them, to do others. Regarding your husband, how about if you tell him that certain "expression of affection" remind you of your abuser. I love her very much, still I think she failed there greatly. I wish she had realized that I was being abused because I showed signs. However, I've talked about it, and I told her how I felt, and how I wish she would have done something different. My theory is that for her it was easier to put that feeling away where it wouldn't "bother" her. She says she doesn't understand why she didn't do anything sooner. I have been angry, and I have talked to my mother about it, I'm 32, and just now, 22 years later, she's feeling anger towards him (grandfather). They should protect, and be there to not allow the abuse happen. In my view, parents, should do much more than have a "word" with someone. It's really good that you're working with a therapist to let it all out. She only did it the second time, I was 14, and I told her because I knew he wanted to do the same to my little sister. She didn't do much when I told her first time. My anger was because of what she did after.
My anger, was not because of her not noticing the abuse, though there were signs. It wasn't that she didn't care, just that it was impossible for her to imagine something like that happening in her own house. I also felt uncomfortable and told my mother, who said: "You must have misunderstood him". Since I was 5, that's as early as I remember, until I was 10. I was abused too by the father of my father. Maybe they had economic problems and needed their help. Like in the car, saying nothing your mother give you the biggest signal she could.Īnd, after all, yes you said that one time, oh God one time is damned enough, yes one time your daughter said that and you waited she would say the second?!? And this one time you reported one incident, not even, you recounted repeated events.Īnd no more excuses, you know he was rotten because of the break with the cousins family. Is more understandable your father if he cant think his father as pedophile of her daughter but I see a lot of "I dont want know" in this story.Ĭhildren understand that and know when is useful to insist to the parents and when they want all to be hidden. If she tries to unload the responsibility on you do you believe that? Maybe better than feel worsen thinking on mother's behaviour. Posts: 3 Joined: Wed 10:28 am Local time: Thu 5:10 pm Blog: View Blog (0)ĭont feel guilty, be sure if you had said to your mother more and more never she would have done something. I feel very alone as my dad isn't interested (it was his dad) and my mum just makes me feel guilty by saying that she did have a few 'words' but because I didn't say anything to her again she thought it had stopped. I was always favoured (well all girls) he wasn't interested in the boys of the family - he had no time for my brother (who is 2 years older than me) He was still 'funny' with me even to the day he died, when I was 23. one time my nannie called mum, she wouldn't come - she said you cant always come home - your on holiday you should stay - well I was so homesick I was vomiting everywhere and couldn't stop - I believe this is all the reason why I now have a severe phobia of sick and people being sick. When we went on holiday with my grandparents (me and my brother) I was always homesick and quite often my mum would actually come and get me and leave my brother there. One time when I was about 7 I remember we had gone round for dinner and my parents were getting into the car, and I was saying goodbye to grandpa - he said he wanted to French kiss me - to which I didn't know what that was, so ran to mum and told her and she shoved me into the car. she said she had a word with my nannie, but nothing changed.Īnd he was so slobberly, always made me kiss him, I always went for the cheek, but he ALWAYS forced me onto his lips. I on many occasions told my mum that I felt uncomfortable with my grandpa and that he always touches me and puts his fingers in my knickers. We never saw my 3 cousins when we were growing up, and I now know why - he used to abuse my female cousin too, but she told her mum and even my parents (shes 6 years older than me) to stop anything from happening to me - her mum removed her from his presence - mine did not. I remember my grandpa would always give me money secretly and always said, 'don't tell your mum or your brother' he would always inappropriately touch me and show himself to me, many times I cant even pin point one. My Dad worked away a lot and therefore to help my mum out me and my brother would often stay with my grandparents and even go on holiday with them. Although I am now 27, when I was about 6 (maybe younger) my Grandpa started to sexually abuse me and groom me, favouring me over my older brother.